Our lives are constantly going through transitions. Sometimes we can plan and get ready in advance for a transition in our lives, like moving to a new residence or retiring. But, unfortunately, other transitions come without advance notice, like getting sick or injured. I think, a good way we can approach our transitions in life, is to take time to ponder and reflect on each transition you make.
The Camino walk that Terri and I took was the perfect way to transition from a working life to the retired life. We had a lot of time to ponder and reflect about this next big transition in our lives. We had also done a lot of “spade work” to make sure our retirement went well but it was the long walk that really helped me make this important life transition. It allowed me time to set my mind. I framed my new reality and create my new mindset as a “retiree”.
Other times, in my life though, I have been dealt transitions that were sudden and sometimes hard to take. No one likes to go through loss and grief. Unfortunately, we all face times of transition that hurt.
I have come to recognize that in these times, there is value in taking time to let silence and reflection open up my heart and mind to the change I face.
There is a great quote I read from one of my favorite authors, Henri Nouwen, that speaks well to the importance of taking the time to live and reflect on our losses.
“The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking them through. It is better to cry than to worry, better to feel your wounds deeply than to understand them, better to let them enter into your silence than to talk about them”
I will close this blog post with a poem written by a very dear friend, who wrote this poem after coming to grips with the reality that the hopes and dreams he had for his son were not going to happen now. He took time to ponder and reflect in the face of his loss.
I hope in this New Year this message helps you where ever you are in our life journey!
My New Son
By Bob Maier
I feel so confused, hurt and utterly sad.
The child I thought was mine is gone.
I want to cry.
Cry for the child who will never ask, “Why?”
“Why do the leaves turn red in autumn?”
“Why do I have to go to bed right now?”
“Why are you crying, Daddy?”
Son, what will you be when you grow up?
I once thought you might be a zoologist,
Traveling to exotic places,
Studying the rare and wonderful animals
You’ve always loved.
When you were less than a year old, sitting
listening to Mommy’s choir sing,
I dreamt that someday you would be a
Creator of beautiful music.
My child has been taken from me!
But that can’t be.
He’s here with me now.
He hasn’t changed.
Yet still, I feel as though
My child has somehow
The child of my dreams
and hopes is no
I know these feelings are
normal and helpful,
that I shouldn’t feel guilty
for having them.
All the experts tell me this.
But it doesn’t help the pain.
Things are getting better now.
The funeral for the child of my expectations is over
Oh, I still visit the cemetery from time to time.
I put Cub Scout caps and grade-school science projects at
But I don’t spend so much time there anymore.
I have another son to love.
The one they call “autistic.”
He’s such a sweet boy.
He’s never mean to anyone,
and he squeezes so
tight when he hugs me.
He loves to dance with his
and he gets such a cute
smile on his face when
he says, “I did it!”
He’s still the same boy who
Peter Pan, kiwi fruit and
throwing rocks in the
I’m learning to love my new
and he has always loved
Photograph of the Week
This is a photograph I took in December of 2014 on a beautiful clear and winter day. The hike to Snow Lake at Snoqualmie Pass is a very popular hike but in winter a bit more dangerous with the ice and snow and avalanche danger. We hit it with perfect timing at the lowest avalanche danger and during an extended cold and clear period.