Words Matter

by johnandterri

20140924-horn-castro-26-finalAs many of you know, I am fond of using quotes at the start of my blog articles. This time I am going to start with my own quote that came to me today.

“Words Matter. In fact, it is possible to sometimes renew or redeem our marriages and relationships with the words we use.”

Terri and I recently have been mentoring a newly engaged couple that are going to be married this Spring. In our first session, we talked about the importance of consistent and sincere affirmations and how they can lift us up and help us feel better about ourselves.

Some of the material we used said some real truths about how we can renew and redeem our relationships.

“Looking for and affirming the goodness in the other lifts our spirits and cultivates an attitude of gratitude and generosity in us.  Conversely, criticism damages the sense of worthiness in the partner…When we criticize the other, we also damage our own spirit; instead of focusing our blessings, we see only his or her inadequacies. Criticism saps the enjoyment out of our life and is like a poison to a marriage.”

When Terri and I walked the Camino, we were at some very low points both physically and emotionally along the way. There is a tendency when we are very tired to sometimes criticize and it is hard to find ways to affirm the other. Yet at our low points is exactly when we need to be reaffirming each other.

I read recently that one of the best indicators of success in marriage, is a ratio of positive to negative interactions of 5:1. When I read that ratio, it felt right to me. It seems to me that positive affirmations in our relationships are like putting oil or grease on gears. If we leave the grease or oil out eventually those gears are going to grind down and fail.

Words matter. We need to be consistent and sincere with our affirmations of each other. Let’s keep the gears of our marriages and relationships running smooth.

Blessings and Merry Christmas to all!


Photograph of the Week

Ancient Skellig Michael Island

This photograph was taken on our fantastic voyage and journey to Skellig Michael Island off the west coast of Ireland. The island was made famous by the movie, “The Force Awakens”. This photo is of the very last set of very steep stairs leading to top of Michael Skellig Island.